The Adventure Diaries

Three months ago I committed to making a bucket list, and giving myself one year to complete it. I chose this for my senior project, out of a number of options, for a reason. Well, ten actually. Here’s why I chose this project and why it’s important: 

1. I feel behind in life

I know, I’m still in high school, but I was never the kind of teenager who would go out or have a big circle of friends, and instead I would opt to stay at home with a book. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I said no to a lot of things I actually wanted to do, because I was scared. I have a lot of guilt because of this, and as I’m reaching the very end of my childhood I’m hoping to make up for lost time and do something I am proud of.

2. I have social anxiety.
Which has kept me from connecting with people and trying new things, even things I have wanted to do. One example of this is how I learned to ride a bike at the ripe old age of eleven, refusing to take off my training wheels in case something happened to me. Most kids learn at around six, and I learned a week before my twelfth birthday. This is even more shocking because my dad is a pro cyclist, and cycles for hours every day. Yet still, I refused because I was scared. Soon after I learned to ride a bike, I slipped down a hill and badly scraped my knees, and didn’t ride my bike again until very recently. I feel sad that I gave up on the experience I could have had, like riding my bike around the neighborhood with my brother, or even going on quick rides with my dad.

3. The comfort zone is not a five star hotel.
Meaning, you shouldn’t stay there too long. Studies done by Harvard Summer School show that venturing outside of your comfort zone has SO many benefits, like improving self-esteem, helping to ensure future goal completion, and learning how to problem solve. 

4. I’ll learn important life skills
Throughout the course of this project, I’ll be talking to strangers, doing stuff I’m scared of, and trying things I’ve never done before. Every item on my list is a mix of terrifying and exciting and I can’t wait to see how much I’ll grow over the course of this year.

5. I don’t know when I’m going to die.
Morbid, I know, but the truth is none of us know when we’re going to die. Sure, we can guess, but we really can’t know for sure that the next day, or even the next hour, is guaranteed. In the midst of an end-of-my-childhood crisis, I started asking myself what I wanted out of my life, and what I need to do to “Die empty” (great book, I’d recommend a read.). Those questions helped shape the list, and I’m hoping that by the end of it I can have some source of fulfillment. I don’t know what my future holds, but I know that if I live every day the best I can, I won’t have as many regrets. 

6. My life is uncertain.
College, driving, getting a job, choosing a career, moving out, planning my future- these are all things I’m juggling right now. And I have no idea about most of them. I’m scared of driving, I don’t know where I want to go to college, I don’t know what I want to study, I don’t know what career path I want to pursue, and I’m scared that I’ll make the wrong choice, and find myself stuck in a life I can’t feel fulfilled in. I think in a way, this project is a way of coping with all of this, and my way of making sure that even if I’m stuck in a job that I hate, I had a time of my life where I felt truly fulfilled and chased my dreams. 

7. I have a project to focus on.
Having a goal to work towards is really motivating, exciting, and rewarding, and all the baby steps that go into this project feel so rewarding as well. A bunch of small goals leading to one big goal is the ultimate set up for success.

8. I am taking advantage of the time and motivation
Completing a Capstone project (aka senior project) is a graduation requirement at my school, and there is a lot of time and resources for whatever you want your project to be. I’ll be honest, initially for my project I was planning to go in an entirely different direction, and when that direction didn’t work out I was frustrated and upset, unsure of where to go. Looking back, I’m so glad it didn’t work out because that path led me here, to this project, and I am already much happier doing this. I’m choosing this as my capstone project, not just a personal project outside of school, because I know that the added support and motivation will help me actually accomplish it. 

9. I have wanted to do this for a while
I used to sleep next to a book called “A Lifetime of Adventures” on my nightstand, and look through it and imagine myself doing all those adventures, but I was too scared and felt too small to actually try anything. I LOVED this book and would carry it around in my backpack, take it with me on trips, and I would cut out words and pictures from magazines of people doing cool adventurous things. Over time, I started to doubt myself and eventually gave up on having my own life of adventure, and the book faded into clutter, and eventually disappeared from my mind. Five years later, I dug the book out of a box in my room, and put it back on my nightstand, and soon my project was created. 

10. I want to be proud of myself
I don’t want this to be another project that I start and never finish, and it won’t be. I feel like I can never achieve the goals I set for myself (probably because I set my goals really high) and this is a way of proving to myself I am capable. I want to make my past and future self proud, and step into this world of adventure and excitement. 

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