The Adventure Diaries

What is executive dysfunction? 

Executive dysfunction is a behavioral symptom or experience that affects how well a person can efficiently function, manage tasks, and organize time. Executive dysfunction is very common, and can appear as a part of multiple conditions, like ADHD, Depression, Autism, and even certain addictions. 

Executive Dysfunction is something I experience a lot, and really struggle with. I find it hard to organize my thoughts, my space, start or complete simple projects, and be on time. This has been a problem for as long as I can remember, and after my autism diagnosis, I started OT (occupational therapy) to help with my executive dysfunction. To be completely honest, this project has been the latest victim of my executive dysfunction, and I’ve been feeling like there’s just a mental wall preventing me from making any progress. I’m behind on my blog posts, I have only done one thing off my list since summer started, and I have a YouTube channel that I have NEVER POSTED TO. What happened, you may ask? I genuinely have no idea. Well, actually I might have some of an idea, if I think about it.

What I think happened is

a) I stacked a lot of commitments on top of myself with the list, the blog, the blog, the Instagram, the go fund me, etc. which then

b) caused me to get really overwhelmed and start avoiding the project, which then

c) applied more pressure to me, stressing me out more, causing me to avoid it more.

To help illustrate my point, I made this very helpful infographic.  

I know I know, the obvious is to just do the damn thing, but that’s not how my brain works. For me, it’s the more pressure, the less I want to do the thing. 

That’s why I’m here writing about executive dysfunction instead of writing about cycling with my dad or the stand up comedy I did at school. I WILL write about things but I needed to do something achievable and less daunting to get the ball rolling. 

I have been doing things though, even when I’m not doing things on my list, this project is still really affecting me and I can see my life changing and improving because of it. I’m learning how to be more adventurous, outgoing, positive, and courageous.

I’ve been riding my bike to places near my house, partially because I can’t drive, but mostly because I think it is really fun and makes my summer feel like an indie movie. My favorite part of this is it’s a form of exercise, which makes me feel very good, and I get to be outside. Exercise + sunshine is the perfect formula for a great day. Also it helps me to feel more independent and cool, I’m just going places and figuring out how to get there and taking trails and roads I’ve never been on before. Its taken me to some really cool places. Plus its aesthetically cooler than driving somewhere. So that’s what I’ve been doing almost every day. Right now I’m at the boba place I’m trying to work at (I’ve applied multiple times its been a struggle). I’ve been trying to interact with more people, I’m talking to Patrick and Stephen who work here, and before that it was Nicholas and Isa, who were the previous shift. I met this girl named Phoebe who sat with me and we talked which was really cool. I asked this girl who looked mean and scary and like she would judge me about her piercings and she was really friendly and recommended me a great place. I met this girl and complimented her nails, and she excitedly told me she did them herself, and even offered to do mine, so I got her number. Yesterday I went to a P. Terry’s in the middle of nowhere and the guy was really nice and complimented my style, which is a really nice compliment.

I’ve been really trying to connect with people recently, and I think these are some really awesome experiences I had.

I’m learning that most people are nice, and a lot of times all you have to do is say hi and smile. Sometimes people aren’t nice, but I know that it’s about them, not me, and I keep smiling. I encourage you to do the same. If you make eye contact with someone while grocery shopping, try giving them a genuine smile. Appreciate the moment and that you’re both grocery shopping and have your own lives and this moment they overlapped for a quick second. Maybe they need a smile today. You never know.

I’m really happy with myself for finally doing this, I have DEFINITELY been procrastinating. I’ll be back soon, and as always thank you for your support. Okay it’s raining so I’m gonna go run around outside. Have an amazing day and thank you for being patient with me! 🙂

-Grace